#3 Build success without destroying yourself in the process

A couple years ago, I left the pursuit of my previous businesses.

And took a research position related to mitigating effects of manipulative and attention-capture designs on social media.

It allowed me to pay the bills while giving a free environment to innovate and create something that felt meaningful.

However, it was only a temporary solution to give my mind space to breathe from the previous hustle. It was always in my mind that in some shape or form, I need to get back to entrepreneurship.

During this 1-2 year period I mostly focused on figuring out the basic lifestyle (health, habits, mental models) that would set me onto a path of living at my peak capabilities.

I used to think that by excelling in school, career, whatever is applauded in your circles, things just fall in place effortlessly for a 'happy' life, and I executed this plan meticulously.

Luckily, I had moments in my life that led me to gain consciousness of this pre-scripted story.

It became obvious to me how I'm playing a never-ending race where I'm just chasing the next meaningless title or achievement while sacrificing myself:

• I was not truly in control of my destiny

• the lifestyle was accelerating the decay of my health

• the conditioned path was ripping off my authenticity

I started to ruthlessly eliminate distractions from all directions – news, scrolling, group chats, excess materia, trends, negative thoughts, self-doubt – that was messing up my focus.

Suddenly I was able to get more shit done in 4 hours than I normally did in 8 hours.

I also embraced solitude. Not isolation or preventing myself from love and important connections, but ruthless removal of settings, events and people that did not align with the life I want to live.

As I experimented with different workout and diet routines, discovered metaphysics & spirituality, I started to gain insane clarity I had never felt in my life.

I got in control of my IBS. I stopped being tired by 5pm, stopped worrying about superficial issues. I started experiencing genuine purpose in life.

I felt limitless energy & creativity, like I was having sex with the reality.

What I once thought would be a boring, perhaps even lonely and unlived life brought me back a child-like curiosity and wonder to simply existing.

I started to feel gratitude in having the ability to move my fingers.

A tasteless cucumber made me feel in awe that such things actually grow in nature to provide nutrients for my body.

My signature berry smoothie (absolute baddie) tasted like heaven even though it was day 482 in a row I ate that.

Life began to feel like a headset with infinite pixel density and refresh rate, where failures and challenges are necessary errors to keep the game interesting. The greatest dream we ever get to experience in this shared consciousness.

And those who live with courage, authenticity and awareness are the true winners of our existence.

As I focused more on my body and mind, everything became clearer. I internalized that life is a holistic experience with little pieces being far more interconnected than conventionally taught in our system.

A peak body creates a peak mind;

and both of these fuel agency & clarity that allows you to take on unique steps to avoid environments, activities and people that do not align with your purpose.

Still, no matter how 'optimal' your health or relationships are, you can't escape a misalignment with purpose and your desired lifestyle.

It slowly numbs you, stresses your body and distracts you from being present with life.

After starting my self-improvement path, I still fell into traps of my conditioning I thought I had already escaped:

• I slowly became more obsessed about the status outcomes (which only weakly supported my actual goals) of the research job than I originally intended.

• I filled my free time with freelance gigs to avoid taking some of the steps that needed more vulnerability and courage from me than anything I'd previously done.

This experience led to the first burnout moment I've had in life.

Even if I continued to follow all my healthy habits; eating whole foods, sleeping well, socializing with close people.

I was absolutely drained and mentally exhausted. I started to feel helpless in front of tasks I'd normally tackle with ease.

My body was physically fine but my mind felt like it was running on fumes.

I lost the mental capabilities to disregard superficial worries and negative thoughts. The muscle I had built slowly weakened without me noticing.

I was spending most of my time in work that did not align with my life's vision.

I had allocated time for my personal projects, but I was so exhausted that I lacked the clarity and creativity to actually deliver anything with results.

In the aftermath, the burnout experience was a necessary shock to truly push me to give my all for the life I want.

And the experience further strengthened the necessity of pursuing the path I had set for myself before.

Instead of building ambitions around external entities, I want to create holistic success inward.

Build a lifestyle for purpose & profit (as Dan Koe puts it),

that naturally attracts all the relationships, profit and status I ever wanted (or needed).

And I realized I don't want that much.

I want to clarify that my philosophy is to not disregard the importance of things like status, looks and money. These have become undeniable forces of individual progress in our evolution, system and culture.

I'm not trying to move to a jungle and pretend like these things don't matter at all to me or to others.

But there is a difference between attaching yourself to things through ego, versus using these as tools to navigate the system without building your self-worth on these things. Because the fact is that you were born whole & perfect.

Cultivate these assets based on your natural, innate characteristics to thrive in our system out of authenticity instead losing yourself to envy & comparison.

Naval Ravikant defines that the only true test of intelligence is if one gets what he wants out of life.

What I want is freedom. The obvious ones like freedom from health issues, financial stress, and social struggles.

But also:

freedom from materialism and identities

freedom from egos and strong opinions

freedom from politics and drama

freedom from conditioned worries and anxieties

freedom to choose my environment

freedom to choose the people I work with

freedom to choose the work I create

freedom to design my days, weeks, months, years and decades

freedom to prioritize family and relationships without sacrificing my highest ambitions

I want to do it without destroying myself in the process.

Next – Founding note #4: AI is replacing skills, while world is losing taste & craft